Instruments of Worship
The Instruments of Worship Podcast, hosted by Casey Rinkenberger, is dedicated to encouraging and equipping classical musicians to lift high the name of Jesus with their instruments and their lives. Tune in every Monday for a new episode!
Instruments of Worship
The Inner Game of Music (Bible Edition) | Ep. 15
Nerves? Self doubt? Negative self talk? Fear of failure? As a musician, it is very likely that these feelings are common for you. In today’s episode, we are taking away key points from the book, “The Inner Game of Music” which helps with these types of issues. Although, I thought it would be interesting for me to come along behind these two intelligent authors and infuse their ideas with the Biblical Truth that they never knew was already there.
Discussion Questions - Try discussing on your own or with a group:)
- What interferences are you listening to that affect your performance? How might they externally manifest themselves in your life?
- What are the easiest self 1 voices to let in for you? How might you take those thoughts “captive and make them obedient to Christ?”
- Do you ever relate to Moses in Exodus 3 and 4? What Truths about God could Moses have informed his doubts with?
- Does God expect perfection from us? How does giving yourself permission to fail change the way you play? Why do we not give ourselves permission to fail?
- Do you fear failure more than you fear God? How? What Truths about God help you not fear failure?
- Trusting self vs. trusting God - which is easier for you?
- Do you worry about what other people think of you when you play? Have you been trapped by people pleasing while playing? What Truths from Scripture can help free you from this?
To engage our hearts in greater worship to Him, check out these songs that relate to this episode!
Fear of the Lord by Tommy Walker
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Hi friends, my name is Casey Rinkenberger and I am so excited to welcome you to the Instruments of Worship podcast. This is a podcast dedicated to encouraging and equipping classical musicians to let's tie the name of Jesus with their instruments, but also their lives. Nerves, self-doubt, negative talk, fear, failure. As a musician, these are likely not foreign feelings to you. So in today's episode, we are taking away key points from the helpful book, The Inner Game of Music. Although I thought it would be interesting for me to come along behind these two very intelligent authors and infuse their ideas with biblical truth that they never even knew was already there. So let's take a look at three examples from their book and then see what the Bible has to say about them. I hope that today you will be equipped with both practical help from the inner game of music, but also spiritual insight from the Bible that can inform how we tackle these difficult topics, these difficult situations that we find ourselves ourselves in as Christian musicians. So I want to welcome you to episode 15 of the Instruments of Worship podcast. So first I want to start off by talking a little bit just about the book itself. Like I said, this book is The Inner Game of Music and it's written by both Barry Green and also along with Timothy Galloway. The authors describe this book as saying, The Inner Game of Music is that which takes place in the mind, played against such elusive opponents as nervousness, self-doubt, and fear of failure. So Timothy Galloway first wrote the book, The Inner Game of Tennis, even back in the 70s. And that really helped people become successful to acknowledge and overcome these different internal obstacles that he describes. Then later on, Barry Green comes along and noticed that Timothy Galloway was really onto something and that many of the same principles he talked about in The Inner Game of Tennis could be applied to music performance and help musicians through their set of internal obstacles. So Barry Green Gary and Timothy collaborated and came up with The Inner Game of Music, this book. This book can be extremely practical and helpful for the people who struggle with performance anxiety, but it's always been written from a secular point of view. So like I said earlier, I'm going to take a shot at infusing this book with some biblical principles that I think are really there, but need to be connected to what does the scripture say about this? And maybe how can we as Christians apply this to our lives in a biblical sense? So we're going to go ahead and start off with one of their main points that kind of is at the core of this book, and it's called the performance equation. And then also later on, we're going to talk about self one and self two. So first, starting with the performance equation. So that equation is performance equals potential minus interference. Or you could think of potential minus interference equals performance. So you might have to write it down. It's kind of helpful to see that written out. But what they're describing is that you have all this potential to perform well, whether it's tennis initially or now in a musical setting. But our minds interfere with our ability to play well. So there's this game going on in our mind. Of course, there will always be external interferences in a performance like a phone ringing or someone coughing or something like that. But when they refer to interference, they're meaning self-interference. So the idea of this equation is that when your interference increases, your performance will get worse because of the equation. Performance equals potential minus interference. But the opposite is also true. If you can somehow find a way to limit the interferences in your brain, then you will have a better performance. So improving performance by reducing interference in your brain. So the main point that they make with this idea of self-interference is that we have very self-critical conversations in our head all the time, but especially while we perform even or before we perform. The term negative self-talk is kind of like a buzzword in today's culture, but the idea is true that many times performance anxiety can manifest itself in negative voices going on in our head. So the book encourages readers to go through an exercise to determine what interferences they experience and how they show themselves. So when I first read this book, some things that I came up with for myself were self-interferences might be memory slips. Those really terrify me. So I'll be worrying about memory slips and that really scares me. Sometimes I'll worry about malfunctioning equipment. So I play with a sponge on my violin. Maybe I'm worried about my rubber band breaking and then I have no shoulder rest or anything, no shoulder pad to play with. And that would be really awkward. Certainly couldn't play your best. Sometimes I'll envision or thinking about tripping on stage or just feeling uncomfortable in your clothes or your shoes or, you know, getting all that sort of stuff in my head. I'll think ahead towards, you know, a scary section, just stuff like that. Those are just kind of things that those are things going on in my head when I'm trying to play music, but it's interfering with my ability to play music, if that makes sense. Also, they talked about how it manifests itself. So I can tell I'm nervous when I start yawning before a performance. It's really funny, but I always do it. And I think it's just my body's way of trying to calm me down. Obviously, many people talk about their heart starting to pound or having shaky hands, shaky arms, sweaty hands, losing just concentration, getting stressed out, or some people get really chatty. We all kind of manifest our nerves in these different ways. So if you want to go ahead and take that challenge, that's what the book recommended. Identifying some of those inner So another big concept in this book is the idea of self one and self two. They describe self one as the person doing the talking or doing the interference. So that's kind of like the judgments going on in your head. So self one is what interferes with your potential. Self two is the person listening. They call it the reservoir of potential in us. So this is the self that is expressing your potential, trying to do its best, but self one keeps kind of nagging at it. So again, you think of this game going on. You've got self one kind of judgmental nagging and self two just trying to play this music and trying to do our best. Self 1 loves to predict failures and tells us what we should and shouldn't be doing. It's all those worries that go on in your head when you're playing, and it really keeps you from being absorbed in the moment or really being able to enjoy the music. Self 2 performs best when in an unthinking state, they say. So it says... The best case scenario is that self two is just really relaxed yet aware, but just letting music flow out of us, not trying to control and manipulate, but just letting us play and letting music flow and not being interfered by self one. So kind of all those ideas come together. I know it's a lot, but that's essentially what a lot of the book covers. So I think the inner game of music is really helpful for a lot of people and can have some really good wisdom where they're putting words to things that we all experience and they're trying to give help of how we can sort of eliminate some of this self-talk. But I want to look at what the Bible maybe has to say at some of this. I think first, when we look at the performance equation or the self one and self two idea, the idea is that at the core, there are voices and conversations going on in both our head and our heart. And I would say that the Bible says that we get to choose whether we listen to it or not, whether we let self one nag or not. And I would also say that the piece that they're trying to describe of self two, that they want to be acquired can only be really acquired when we give up control and trust in the Lord. So first, let's start. What do we let in? What do we let in our brain and what are we going to do about it? So maybe in our fallen state, we have such insecurities that we really do rehearse these in our head and they plague us throughout the day and in times of stress before a performance or even during a performance. And I would say, sure, maybe those are some insecurities that many of us have just self-won voices, I guess, talking to us. But I also think that they could be described as lies from the devil. Whether we are talking negatively to ourselves or it's the devil lying to us, feeding us lies, this is where I believe as a Christian classical musician, we can stand on truth that can inform how we handle this. So 2 Corinthians 10 5 says, We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. So given to itself, our brain will not be truthful or kind or right necessarily. Our heart and our brain and our mind, it is prone to lies, negativity, harshness, selfishness, and just so much. We know that. So Paul in 2 Corinthians encourages the Corinthians to not just allow their heart and mind to wander where it may. Believe whatever their first response is. You know, I've said before, you don't just drift into holy thinking, right? Instead, we need to take everything Every thought captive. So don't let it lead you somewhere simple or somewhere false or somewhere out of control. Like sometimes self one, the self one that they were describing sounds like very out of control. But instead, make it obedient to Christ. Take that call out captive. Make it obedient to Christ. So when your self one is feeding lies like, I'm going to trip on stage. I'm going to forget this one section. I'm freaking out about this run. That's really difficult. It's going to be so terrible. Yada, yada, yada. Just stop it. Take it captive. which means you're in control of it, right? It's not in control of you, you're in control of it. And make it then obedient to Christ. So a reminder of truth that comes from the Lord. A story that I kind of thought encapsulates this and kind of shows what maybe this might be like in our life is going all the way back to the Old Testament, where Moses had a lot of self-won interference. So he really could have used 2 Corinthians 10, 5 to inform his thinking. for when God asked him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. So this story can be found in Exodus 3 and 4, and you may know it, but we find Moses tending to a flock of sheep, and God speaks to him through the burning bush. He says he's going to free the Israelites from their slavery and suffering in Egypt, and he's going to use Moses to lead this Exodus. So in Exodus 3, 10 through 12a, it says, So now go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt. How cool. But Moses said to God, who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt? So clearly that's self one talking. And God said, I will be with you. So God's informing him his thoughts of truth, informing his doubts with truth. And later, if you if you keep reading on, then Moses comes up with all these questions like, what if they ask me this? What if this happens? What if what if what if what if? And God answers all of them. So we are like Moses a lot of times. We let all these possible scenarios, these worst case scenarios, infiltrate our minds. And it's what in our game of music calls self one. And God even shows Moses two miracles. He shows him turning a staff into a snake and back into a staff. And he causes Moses' clean hand to get leprosy and then get clean and quick again. So when this show Moses, God is with him. that he is the powerful, almighty, loving God. But then in Exodus, a whole chapter later, they keep talking about this. Exodus 4, now 10 through 13, Moses said to the Lord, pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past, nor since you've spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue. So Moses has no confidence here because he's trying to put his confidence in himself. We as humans are flawed people. So putting our confidence in ourself is definitely not foolproof. It's not going to work. But walking with the Lord and putting our confidence in him can give us confidence in all things. Why? Because our confidence is not in ourselves and we are human, but it's in our God, the creator of heavens and earth. And God reminds Moses of this. The Lord said to him who gave human beings their mouths who makes them deaf or mute who gives them sight and makes them blind is it not i the lord now go i will help you speak and will teach you what to say So informing Moses' self one with truth, God says, I am the one who even gave you a mouth, gave Pharaoh a mouth. So can't I make Pharaoh mute if I wanted to? Can't I make you speak eloquently if I wanted to? Then he even promises Moses that he will do this, that he will help him and teach him what to say. But Moses said, pardon your servant, Lord, just please send someone else. And so Moses gives into all the lies, all the negative self-won interference, as Barry and Timothy would call it. And God then eventually just honored his request and then used Aaron instead. So I think all of us could say, Moses, what a missed opportunity. This was such a cool thing that God was willing and gracious to use you. And of course, God still did. But he gave into all of that. We get to choose if we listen to all the false and the unrighteous, the uncontrollable thoughts in our head that don't come from the Lord. So in the inner game of music, they talk about then self too, this freedom then to get to play how we know how to play. And I would say that self too is possible when you stop listening to the lies, but that's not it. That might be where the inner game of music stops, but I would say you stop listening to the lies and then you continue to trust the results with the Lord. And that brings us to our next point. They talk about how performance anxiety really comes from the fear of failure. And they suggest that giving yourself permission to fail leads to success. They say, imagine if you always had a second chance, how that might change the way you play. You play with so much more confidence. So give yourself permission to fail and it allows yourself to stop trying and to just be a part of the music. Releasing yourself from the fear of failure allows you to focus 1,005% it says on making music. And they say, what's even the worst thing that could happen? What is the worst possible outcome? Why am I really so scared? They say, maybe failure is a possibility, but just accept it and then go with reckless courage, they say. Like Itzhak Perlman, when you see him playing a hard section where maybe we'd come to it and we'd start freaking out and play softer and get timid and scared. Itzhak Perlman just goes for it. He has reckless courage in the face of potential disaster. And they say, yeah, this takes a lot of vulnerability. You have both opportunity for major triumph or major disaster, but you just have to let go and be courageous, it says. What I think the Bible has to say about this is they're right. Don't fear failure, but instead fear God and trust him and experience the peace that they describe as self too through trusting God. So when they say, give yourself permission to fail, I would say, yeah, our life purpose is not just to be perfect and to not fail, but sometimes we act like it is. Again, we don't live on this earth to glorify or worship ourselves and lift us up, but to lift up one who is much greater than ourselves, and that is our God. That's sometimes easier said than done. It's not always innate within us, but Matthew 6, 33 instructs, but first seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So don't just live life trying to avoid failure. Don't just live life trying to see if you can make it without having a botched performance or make these little mistakes. Live life pursuing the Lord and the rest will fall into place. It's a much bigger, broader perspective that I think is so healthy. As musicians, we can get so narrow-minded and think that the highest goal is to be successful, to have great performances, to have nearly perfect performances, all those sorts of things. But the world is so much bigger than that, honestly. And I think we need to be reminded of having just greater perspective that we are made to worship the Lord. And we can do that a whole lot of different ways, but we are not made to worship ourselves. It's that simple. So when they say, what's the worst thing that could happen? And practically, I just say, yeah, it's really true. Usually the worst thing that would realistically happen is maybe it's not perfect or maybe it's not necessarily the absolute best we can play, but it's very unlikely. that we would literally go up there and forget the whole entire concerto. It's very unlikely that we would actually break a string or that we would actually fall off the stage. It's actually kind of funny actually saying all these things. But these are things that we think and we maybe fear in our head. So just think what's the worst thing that could happen? You make a few mistakes and so what? we can still glorify God. We can still have a very successful performance without it being perfect. Actually, I think, quote unquote, perfect performances are usually not very successful. They don't really connect with audiences. They're not very emotive. They're not very fun. They're very selfish a lot of the time internally, if we're being honest with ourselves. And I would just point you to Matthew 6, where Jesus just describes, don't worry about tomorrow. If God closed the lilies and he closed the birds and he provided for all these things that are always going along just fine in nature will he not that much more take care of us and provide for us so don't worry what is the worst thing that could happen it's probably not as bad as you think it will be so i agree with them And they say, just be courageous. Have reckless courage like Isaac Perlman. And I would say, sure, be courageous. Deuteronomy 31, 6 says, be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. So not just mustering up courageousness yourself, but being courageous because the Lord goes with you. We can have confidence in the Lord. God instructs his people all the time throughout the Bible not to be afraid. Why? Because we forget it all the time. But it's always true that he's always with us. So I just want to encourage you to find peace knowing that the God who created the universe, who created you and all your unique abilities and talents, who loves you, that is the God who goes with you wherever you go. Even as you go out on the stage, even as you approach that scary section or that scary run, he is with you and he will never relief so the last part that i want to talk about today is the in the inner game of music they talk about preparation and then just trust so prepare and trust yourself just go for it i'll read you this quote it says this chapter is about trust not blind trust but the trust that comes after hard work and the trust that comes from knowing there is music inside you So that's kind of the framework that they have there, that you've done the hard work and there's music inside you. So just trust it. They describe two barriers to trust in the inner game of music. One is worrying about what others think about you. And the other is the feeling of being out of control. So first, worrying about what others think about you. They say music is a performing art, so you have to perform. So it suggests become the music. Put the music on display, not yourself. And then it's not about your own personal insecurities. It's about the music now. It's not just about whether you do well. It's about the music. They even say, so be like an actor and just become the music and act for people. Something else they say, a quote, is feel like you write the piece on the stage as you go. So maybe that's helpful for you. And then the other thing they say is a barrier to trust is a feeling of being out of control. So they say prepare and trust self. And I would say the Bible says prepare and trust God. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight. So first, a barrier to trust would be worrying about what others think about you. I totally agree with that. But I would say that it's a barrier to your trust in God. And this is so easy to slip into. I know when I've performed, this is sometimes my biggest fear. It's sad to say. We start asking questions like, do they like my playing? Do they like the music I'm playing? How do I look? Am I doing a good enough job? All those sorts of things. And maybe it's the audience you're worried about. I would say that's probably a lot of the time what we worry about most, but it also could be people like your conductor. Is my conductor pleased with me? Or my teacher? Is my teacher pleased with me? Or are my parents or my stand partner? Am I pleasing these people? Am I doing a good enough job? I'm worried about what they will think of this. But no matter who it is, the idea is known as people pleasing or fearing man. I would say for me, at least those are kind of interchangeable. Wanting to please the people around So I would say on the topic of people pleasing, Proverbs 29, 25 says, So a snare, I don't use that in my normal vocabulary, but a snare is a trap. So when I think of a trap, I immediately think of a mouse trap. For a mouse, it's very tempting. There's probably cheese on it or something. And sometimes, They don't see it coming, but it's super easy to fall into and get stuck in if you're a mouse. Also, talk about out. It hurts. The promise of something that tastes and feels good ends up becoming something that traps you and hurts and not in a good way. So the Bible says that people pleasing is just like that. It promises feeling good and affirmation and comfort, but it ends up leaving you feeling hurt and in pain. But on the flip side, the end of Proverbs 29, 25 says, but there is safety for the one who trusts in the Lord, who is under his powerful and loving protection. He watches over you. He is with you and protects you wherever you go. And that's even up on stage. So why don't we all just save ourselves the trouble of getting trapped into fearing man and instead rest trusting that God will protect us. It can change the game. Another scripture on this topic is Galatians 1.10, which says, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. So at first glance, you might be tempted to think, well, doesn't being someone who pleases people sound nice? Like, isn't that something we should seek after or want as a Christian, pleasing people? And maybe so. But I think we all know by now that because of our simple nature, usually our desire to please people comes out of a heart of selfishness. It comes out of a heart that wants to be liked in return, not out of service. It's not just let me serve you and get nothing in return. It's let me serve you so that you like me back. Something like that. Kind of an exchange there. And so in that scenario, really, when you think about it, we are our biggest concern, not the other person, which in turn means that We can't focus on God. We can't focus on others, which is the first greatest commandment. Love God and love others. Our focus is on us. It's very selfish. So we ourselves are our highest priority. So we probably won't be worshiping the almighty God creator of the universe. So I'd say based on this passage alone, the Bible is saying run far and run fast from worrying about what people think of you. And that's especially true when you're up on stage, what people think of you and what people are think of your playing. Why? Why does the Bible say that? Because God has a much better way, a way of safety and security that comes from him, not the affleeting opinions of other people. You maybe have heard the term audience of one before, and there's so much comfort in that, knowing that we play for the Lord and he is well pleased with a heart of worship and he loves seeing us use our gifts. You know, he's our audience. We want to glorify him, not just please the people that happen to fill the chairs that we're standing in front of. So God has much better way. We can find perfect safety and comfort in the security and just the love of the Lord that is never ending. Okay, and then the last point was the feeling of being out of control, how that can be a barrier to trust. They say trusting in self, but I would say it can be a barrier of trusting in the Lord. And I just want to encourage you that when you feel like things are out of your control, it's okay, because a lot of times things are way better not in my control and in God's control. So we may doubt our abilities because we're human, but we have a divine God who holds each day and each moment in his hand And that is extremely comforting to know that when things go out of my control or when I'm not controlling things well, everything's ultimately in his hands. And so trust him with each moment, each moment of the performance, and then just let it go. Don't hold on. Give him what you're trying to control and then just let it be in his hands because I promise you everything is so much better in his hands. His ways are so much higher than ours. He is so much bigger, so much greater than us. That's something that we find comfort in. So let it go in God's hands and experience the peace that comes from that, that you can't control it, but you serve a God who can and has good plans and has everything in his hand and is watching over it. They would say, don't listen to self one so that through self two, you can just play like you know how. Prepare and trust in yourself. But the Bible would say, give up your control to God and then play like you've prepared. Prepare and trust God. Give it all into his hands. Let go. And then just have fun. Play like you know how. He has given you these gifts and abilities. And that's so special and unique. You have worked hard. And Therefore, you don't need to be afraid. He's with you. You've prepared. Now go and do what you know how to do and have fun doing it. Philippians 4, 6-7 says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God and let the peace of Christ which transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds forever. In Christ Jesus our Lord. So I hope you were encouraged and equipped today with both practical and spiritual truths that can help you as we all navigate the stresses of performing all the time. And I think that the inner game of music book really has some incredible insights and encouragement. So maybe it's worthwhile for you to check it out. I also know that the word of God is sufficient. It is a light. It is a guiding light. It gives us hope and it is relevant for every situation. It is through the word of God. that we meet God, we get to hear from him and get to know him and that it is worth more than we could ever know. So books are great. Inner Game of Music is great. But I do know that the Bible is certainly better. So thanks so much for spending part of your day with me today. Make sure to check out the description for more worship songs that I hope will encourage your heart in worship and give you greater insight into some of the things we talked about today. Also in the description, look for discussion questions that you can reflect on by yourself or with a friend. If you think you might know someone who would be encouraged by this podcast, please send it to them and make sure to download, follow and subscribe wherever you are listening. And I will see you next Monday.