Instruments of Worship

Identity: Your Worth, Classical Musician, Doesn't Have to Be In Question | Ep. 27

• Casey Rinkenberger • Season 2 • Episode 27

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In today’s culture, we are told that we decide who we are, we choose what things define us, we decide what gives us worth and significance.  We live our lives consumed in the quest for identity and worth, especially as classical musicians.  That quest, however, is a never ending slippery slope that will end up sliding you down to ruin.  But God.  God, in His love and grace, created mankind in His image, and for those in Christ, we are adopted into His family as sons and daughters.  You can find freedom from searching for worth in your performances, your chair in orchestra, or people's opinions of you.  Listen to today's episode to find out how! 


Discussion Questions – Try discussing with a friend of in our Facebook Discussion Group 

  • What were you most encouraged by in today’s episode?
  • Is there a specific aspect of the classical music world that you struggle to attach your self worth or identity to? 
  • Why is it dangerous for us to attach our worth to such futile things?
  • Do you think the comparison to the book “Are You My Mother?” is accurate?
  • Why does a right view of God’s infinite worth give us a better understanding of our worth?
  • Is it easy to be content in knowing you are made in the image of God and through Christ are a son or daughter of the King of Kings? Or do you forget and look for other things to fill the void?
  • How does what we talked about today change how you perform? 


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SPEAKER_00:

Hi friends, my name is Casey Ringenberger, and I am so excited to welcome you to today's episode of the Instruments of Worship Podcast. This is a podcast dedicated to encouraging and equipping classical musicians to lift high the name of Jesus with their instruments but also their lives. If you think you know someone who might be encouraged by this podcast, please send it to them and make sure to download, follow, and subscribe wherever you are listening. And with that, we will go ahead and get into today's episode of the Instruments of Worship podcast. Hi everyone, I'm so excited to be back this week. I'm sorry that we didn't have an episode last week, but I hope you are doing so well today. Um, why we didn't have an episode last week was because Quinn and I were actually on vacation. We were in Boston and doing lots of sightseeing, and then we took the train down to Washington, DC and did more sightseeing. It was very busy, we were go, go, go, but it was so fun to just be together and not have to worry about kind of some of the craziness of everyday life. So it was a great trip, but that's why we didn't have an episode last week. However, I sure hope that you had the opportunity to listen to the episode that was before that. So that would have been released two weeks ago, and that was episode 26, where I sat down and had a conversation with Mia Kelso. I loved so much of what Mia shared with us, but I'm extra grateful that Mia was willing and able to share so openly about her struggles with misplaced identity throughout her music career. It was a huge part of her testimony, and she eventually found freedom from the pressures of identity and her worth being placed in performance when she found security in Christ. She was able to put to words what so many of us classical musicians struggle with, and that is identity and where we attach our worth. So, with that being said, that's where we're gonna put our focus in today's episode. So if we're talking about identity, first it's probably important that we define it. A quick Google search says that identity is the fact of being who or what a person or something is. So essentially who you are. It's a type of sense of self, and the big one is a sense of worth. So in today's culture, I feel like we are told that we get to decide. We decide who we are, we choose what things define us, what things say that we actually mean something, we decide what gives us worth. That's what we're told. That is a really scary thing to be told by a godless culture that we get to decide why our lives have meaning? Um, no thanks. If you walk that out, it actually becomes pretty devastating. If we put our sense of worth in something like being a successful musician, then what happens when success doesn't come our way? If you put your sense of worth in having a successful performance, then what happens when you have a memory slip or you're never satisfied with how you perform? If you put your sense of worth in getting seated in the orchestra where you want to be seated, then what happens when you get moved to a different spot or you don't get that same spot next year? If you put your sense of worth in being complimented by your teacher, then what happens when they will undoubtedly criticize some of your playing? If you put your self-worth into being a well-liked teacher yourself, then what happens when a parent accuses you of something or isn't pleased with their kid's progress? If you put your sense of worth in something like getting a standing ovation or a large, very elated crowd at your recital, then what happens when that doesn't happen? If you put your sense of self-worth into knowing lots of well-known musicians and having lots of connections, then what happens when those connections don't benefit you? If you put your sense of worth and being appreciated by your conductor, then what happens when they call you out in the orchestra? All these things are almost bound to happen for a classical musician at some point or another. And so when they do, does that just mean that you are worth nothing? Of course not, but it shows how weak the argument is. It honestly reminds me of the children's book, Are You My Mother by P. D. Eastman. If you haven't read the book, I'll give you a little synopsis. The book starts by a little mother bird sitting on her egg in the nest, and right before the chick is about to hatch, she remembers her little baby will want to eat when it comes into the world. So she quick leaves to go find a worm to feed it. But in the meantime, the chick hatches and is so surprised to find that his mom is nowhere to be seen. So he sets out, he leaves the nest to go look for her. Now quoting in the book, it says, He came to a kitten. Are you my mother? he said to the kitten. The kitten just looked and looked. It did not say a thing. The kitten was not his mother, so he went on. Then he came to a hen. Are you my mother? he said to the hen. No, said the hen. The kitten was not his mother. The hen was not his mother. So the baby bird went on. Then he came to a dog. Are you my mother? he said to the dog. I am not your mother, I'm a dog, said the dog. The kitten was not his mother, the hen was not his mother, the dog was not his mother, so the baby bird went on. So the book keeps going on and on like this. The chick even stops to interrogate a cow, a boat, a plane, and even a large tractor to see if they were his mother. And finally the tractor drops the chick back off at his nest, and his mother returns, and this is what she says. Do you know who I am? she says to her baby. Yes, I know who you are, said the baby bird. You are not a kitten, you are not a hen, you are not a dog, you are not a cow, you are not a boat or a plane or a snort. You are a bird and you are my mother. So I bring up this book because whether we realize it or not, we are looking all around us for people, positions, performances, whatever they may be, to attach our worth to. So to a performance, we might say, are you where my worth is found? To a teacher's opinion, are you where my worth is found? To a chair in the orchestra, are you where my worth is found? We could keep going and going and going, but the answer is of course no. The answer is actually very simple, and it's kind of similar to this book, too. Our worth is not in what we do, how we perform, what successes we achieve, what chair we have, what people think of us, not even in the good that we do. Our worth comes from whose we are. Just like how that little chick was trying to figure out to who he belonged, we belong to our Father, and that is what gives us worth. And we don't give that enough weight. Our worth comes from whose we are. We don't fully realize how that changes everything for us. So I pray that as we get into this, the Holy Spirit would open our eyes to see and our hearts to understand how being made in his image and being a child of the Almighty God is more satisfying than anything that classical music might have to offer us. So one of the main ideas that I want to convey to you is that a right understanding of our worth starts with a right view of God, a right understanding of his glory, his holiness, and his worth. And you might think, why is that? And it's because what we just talked about, we belong to God. We are uniquely created and made in God's image. If we were made in his image and he wasn't very holy, wasn't very powerful, wasn't very glorious, we wouldn't have much to stand on. But that is not the case. A right understanding of our worth starts with a right view of God and his worth. You know, a lot of people talk about insecurities or having low self-esteem or low self-worth. And John Piper, in one of his articles titled Reflections on the Concept of Self-Worth, says something like, True self-knowledge can only come by true God knowledge. Or again, in a similar way, you could say to know your self-worth is only to come by knowing God's worth. And God's worth is infinite. And so the best place to start to learn this, I think, is at the very beginning in Genesis one. I'm sure that you are aware that in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and the darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, Let there be light, and there was light. And God said, Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters. And God said, Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry ground appear. And God said, Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed and fruit trees on the earth, bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them, and it was so. And God said, Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And God said, Let the waters team with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens. God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind, and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds, the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals each according to its kind, and it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds, and God saw that it was good. So do you get the picture? God speaks, and it is so. So I know I kind of read through a lot of Genesis 1, a lot of the creation narrative pretty quickly just now. But go through and read it slowly and actually try to picture God speaking all of this into existence. It will grow your view of God. It will make him seem so much bigger to you. Read it slowly, even if it's something you're familiar with. Read it slowly and let your heart see God as huge, as magnificent, as all powerful, almighty. He is the source of it all. Genesis 1 26 through 27, though says, Then God said, Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. I love the difference between verses twenty-four and twenty-five and then verses twenty-six and twenty-seven. And verses twenty-four and twenty five, God is creating animals and other really cool living things to fill the earth. But notice that they were all created, each according to its kind. But that phrase doesn't show up in verses twenty six and twenty-seven once God creates humans. Instead of being made as a part of its kind like all the rest, there is a uniqueness implied here now. Humans are different, they are made with special attention and intention. God created man in his image. That was not said about any other thing that he had crept created up until this point. Instead of tons of different kinds like he did animals, he created one man and one woman in the same likeness as the creator, the almighty creator of the universe, the one who in the beginning miraculously started it all, the creation of everything as we know it, the one who creatively, powerfully, intentionally, lovingly was preparing the earth for humans to inhabit and enjoy, and the one who holds it all together even still today. So to help us better understand what it means to be made in God's image, the Journey Identity Bible study says Genesis 1 twenty six through twenty-seven tells us humans are created in the image of the triune God, Yahweh. The Latin phrase for this is amago day. The word image used in these verses does not refer to what you see when looking into a mirror or staring at a photograph. Rather, humans share characteristics of God, such as reason, love, and creativity. God made us different from any of his other magnificent works. He created us to share a deep, unfettered relationship with him and to rule over his creation. So all humans are created in the image of God, and as much as he loves the trees and the birds and sea creatures and other animals, we are his precious creation, made to uniquely reflect him and made to have relationship with him. So are you starting to see how silly it is for us to think our worth is based on our musical performance or what people think of us? We get so consumed by that though that it becomes the aim of our whole lives and we lose sight of the fact that our worth and the worth of the people around us, even the ones who are hard to love, their worth and our worth is innate. It's not based on how we perform or the applause we get. God in his mercy made us in his image, and that should be enough. However, the story does change a little bit from there. There is, rightly, so much power living in light of that truth. But the sad reality is that by Genesis 3, sin entered the world through Adam and Eve. The journey Bible study on identity says sin is anything we think, say, or do that disobeys God. Adam and Eve's original sin separated humankind from God. It shattered the perfect identity God gave mankind and left us broken, lost, and wondering who we are. Since then, sin has affected every person, including you and me. It's even because of sin that you and I are tempted to attach our worth to all these band-aid feel-good things. Sin has left in us a hole that we are desperately trying to fill. Sin separates us from God, and as great as it is to be made in the image of God, that truth will not save us from our sin. God knew that though, so he immediately instituted his plan to renew and redeem that union with mankind that was lost, and that was through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Galatians 4, 4 through 7 says, When the time set when the set time had fully come, God sent his son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out Abba, Father. So you are no longer a slave, but God's child. And since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. So Jesus came and lived the perfect life that I was supposed to live, and died the death that I deserve to die, and then rose from death three days later, and therefore covered all my sins with his perfect record. He saved me, and I just have to accept the gift that salvation is. His perfection now covers my sin, and I get to experience new life, and I am redeemed to relationship with God. So to the nonbeliever who is a slave to perfect performances, people's approval, and never feels quite worthy of love, I just want to say turn to Jesus and accept his free gift of salvation. Being made in the image of God won't save you. It won't fill that void in your soul. You need to turn to Jesus and admit that you are a sinner in need of a savior. Believe in your heart that Jesus lived a perfect life, died the death that you deserve, rose from the grave, defeating sin and death on your behalf. Believe that in your heart, and then confess him as Lord of your life. You put your stake in the ground that you stand with Jesus, that you are no longer slave to sin, but that you live for Jesus now, and you are adopted into his family. You are his son and you are his daughter. It's that simple. But to the Christian who has already accepted Christ and needs to be reminded of these truths, stop running, stop fearing, and stop striving for your worth. Your worth is innate. It is not based on what you do, who you are, or how well you do. It's based on whose you are. You are made in the image of God, and it's based also on the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Out of love, covering us in his grace, adopting us into his family with all our imperfections. You are now a son or daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and that can never be taken from you. Say no longer to being at the mercy of whatever it is that you have said decides your self-worth. We let temporary positive descriptions of us or literal chairs in an orchestra room or the sound of two people's hands clapping together literally define who we are. But there's definitely no confidence in that. That's not something strong that we can stand on. You will always fall short of your standard of worth. And without Jesus, you will always fall short of God's standard. I hope you know this song. I love this song. It's a very deep and impactful song by Keith and Kristen Getty called My Worth Is Not in What I Own. And I just want to read you the first and second verses that say, My worth is not in what I own, not in the strength of flesh and bone, but in the costly wounds of love at the cross. My worth is not in skill or name, in win or lose, in pride or shame, but in the blood of Christ that flowed at the cross. So as a Christian, your worth is not based on your skills or your strength or the things that you are proud of. It's based solely on the cross. You are no longer a slave to people's approval, no longer a slave to your musical performance, no longer slave to the thoughts or perceptions of others. You are adopted into the family of God. You are his son, you are his daughter, you are free from attaching your worth to pitiful substitutes. So now you get to just play freely. Be free to play, practice, and perform like what Mia talked about two weeks ago, delighting in God when you play, and God delighting in you and his work in you through the gifts that he's given you. He's not a harsh critic like sometimes we make him out to be. He's a loving father. In Bible study fellowship, in their study of Ezekiel 36, they say, We were made to know God, enjoy him, and glorify him. Human hearts can experience no greater satisfaction than knowing and enjoying God's love poured out on their behalf. We glorify God when we yield ourselves to his compassionate care. So I just want to say, yield yourself to his love on stage. Trust in his care for you when you walk out on stage in your preparation and play for his glory to be magnified, not your own. He is glorified when you just play, delighting in him. John Piper is known for saying, God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. So satisfy yourself in him and let that be your heart even when you play, and he is so glorified by that. The course of that Keith and Kristen Getty song from earlier says, I rejoice in my redeemer, greatest treasure, wellspring of my soul. I will trust in him no other. My soul is satisfied in him alone. God is your father forever, so your identity will always be secure when it is in him, when you are in Christ. The same cannot be said though for self-determined identity. When you try to decide why you have worth and where you attach it, the main takeaways are that you are made in the image of God. If you are in Christ, you are his son or you are his daughter. And I just want to ask, will that be enough for you? Will you be content in the love of the Lord or will you seek other loves? Will you try to attach your work to other things because they're tangible and they're in the now and they feel good and they make you look good to others? Or will you be content in the love of the Lord and whatever he has for you? One of those things will satisfy you forever, and one of them will always leave you feeling empty. And I just want to end with 1 John 3 1, which says, See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God, and that is what we are. And so I just pray that that would be true of us as we perform and as we practice and as we lay our lives down as a living sacrifice unto the Lord. So thanks so much for spending part of your day with me today. Check out the description for discussion questions that you can reflect on by yourself or with a group. We actually have a Facebook page that you can join where we talk about these discussion questions, we answer them, and we encourage and equip one another as we walk this road of being a Christian in the classical music world together. Please feel free to leave us a five star review if you like this episode, and I will see you next Monday.